Beyond the caterpillars, the butterflies… Now what?

In the days following my move to a neighboring town in Cali, 8 stunningly beautiful Monarch butterflies (4 boys, 4 girls) came out of their transparent cocoon. Before taking off for a life out with Mother Nature, they dried their vibrantly colored wings in the morning sun. Their departure often was alternated with the arrival of the first hummingbirds of the day, signs that this day the impossible was possible again.
These were such joyful events. It was touching to see how some of them just didn’t want to leave, and held on to my partner’s finger, not entirely ready to move on, or move out, after several weeks of being raised in a protective environment… Today, the plastic cages that once housed the caterpillars and chrysalis are empty. I put them away, for now, our short term mission of the move and raising the monarchs accomplished right before the full moon.
Then, the day of the Harvest Full Moon a headache came up, and a sense of being stuck. There was this moment of “Now what?” We moved, the butterflies flew out (one briefly came back this morning…), what am I going to do now in this new situation that had manifested? My headache made me grumpy. I wanted to move forward, but did not know where to begin. As the day progressed, and my partner had left for work, I started puttering around, slowly, fluttering from this to that, seemingly without any rhyme or reason: watering the plants, building a window sill, sending a text, an email, calling a friend. By dinner time my direction had become a little clearer again. During my puttering, the world had continued (SURPRISE!), people had started emailing me about the workshop I teach on Sunday, and the one I will be teaching at the Beautiful Dying Expo in November. I started to breathe again, and uttered a sigh of relief: I did not have to take care of everything; the Universe was moving and responding to my actions during the waxing moon as well.
Ever had that feeling of “Now what?” after a major accomplishment in your life? I realized this much: My fearful attempts to control the outcome of the “Now what?” question had given me the headache. Giving in to the headache, to allow my body and soul to find its own way, separate from  these fear-based constructs of my mind, gave me a sense to see, to feel and experience what else there was beyond these fears, limited thoughts and headache. By the end of the day my sense of being stuck and feeling of lack had gradually been replaced by a growing sense of gratitude towards the richness I really am blessed with: friends, family, “work” from a place of purpose, health, a roof over my head. It was all a matter of perspective.
Our life and society is so often ruled by the masculine driving force of “doing”. As we are transitioning from the Fifth Sun to the Sixth Sun (in the next blog more about that!), we can “allow” our feminine side to be more present, and “give in” to what else is around us. Try it! It’s a beautiful skill to practice! And very enriching!

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